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"Waiting for Shinigami"Written By: Dragonmistress_7 Disclaimer: I do not own them with a fox, I do
not own them in abox. I do not own them on Tuesday, I borrow them
so we can play. Ido not own Gundam Wing, don't sue me, I don't own
anything! Rating: Eventually, NC-17, for now, like, G? Warnings: OOC, Eventual lemon (1x2)temporarily
POV Pairings: 1x2, 3x4 Summary: The war is finished and time has passed. Heero is sent to find Duo and try to convince him to join Preventer but somewhere along the way feelings change Notes: Kind of strange fic that wouldn't leave
me alone. I don'tthink it will be too long. Not my normal stuff, but
a good start, Ihope. Will set up shrines to all who give feedback.
(winces) soften
Waiting for Shinigami
Chapter 6 Heero had to stay late at work to stay caught up during Quatre's and Trowa's absence, so I made dinner. Nothing fancy, andnot as good as he could have done, but an apology, of sorts. I hadn't realized how bitter I'd become until I wasn't anymore. I had Heero to thank for that. Nearly gone in my mind were thoughts of a cold, hard soldier. They were replaced with memories of what I knew was inreality a scared boy, wanting to reach out, but taught that there were consequences to doing so. Even those thoughts, I had to reach for. What I think of when I think about Heero is the warmth in his eyes, and the littlesmile on his face when he's teasing me, or him covered in blue paint, giving the first real laugh I've ever heard from him. But mostly, when I think about Heero, I think about way he looked at me right before he told me I was cute. Heero looked tired when he came in, and a bit puzzled when I took him by the wrist and led him to the table, which was set and ready. When he was seated, I knelt and took of his boots for him, never saying a word. "Duo, what are you doing? What's going on?" he asked as I served him his dinner. "Just relax and enjoy it," I told him. "This is my apology,and my thanks" I just knew he was going to ask what for, but he just sat there and waited for me to fix my own plate before eating. For amoment, the silent question hung between us, until I knew it would never be asked. He felt it was my place to tell him, obviously, not his to ask. "After- everything," I began, "I was so tired and hurt I didn't care. Not about what happened to me, or where I went, andcertainly not about anyone else. Over the past couple of years, the antipathy just kind of thickened and hardened. I told myself that if you could do it, so damn well could I." I couldn't look at him while I made my confession, so I studied the plate of food before me. "Then, I saw you. I saw that you had tried so hard to get what I was throwing away. It shook me. You shook me. And you kept on shaking until I got tired of hitting the side of the shell and remembered that people could be fun. I know I was difficult to get along with when you came to see me, and even worse before that, but I am so sorry for that. And I want to thank you for never ceasing to shake." "You're welcome, and forget it. We all make mistakes and we all have regrets because of them," Heero replied, taking my hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. "So the Perfect Soldier has regrets, too," I murmured, hardly aware I'd said it out loud. "You got a ream of paper and a few days? I'll list them out for you," he replied. "So many things...things I did, things I didn't do, things I knew I should have done, but I was just too chicken shit to do them. Those are the worst." His hand reached out, hesitantly, and his fingertips brushed against my face. "So many of them have to do with you," Hi sknuckles grazed my cheek, and he was giving me that look again.When his hand reached my chin, his index finger circled around it and came back to brush across my lower lip. For a moment I though the would… But no. His hand dropped to his side, and we just stood
there, looking at each other. At long last, he cleared his throat
and spoke. "Tomorrow, after work, I'm going to a little bar a
fewblocks from here called Miss Deed's. You can join me, if you want,
and we can go to dinner. You don't have to, though. It was just a I nodded, understanding, not agreement. I didn't sayanything. For once, I didn't know what to say. After dinner, I took a walk to clear my head and decide if I was going to take Heero up on his offer. I wound up in the park, where an elderly lady was feeding birds bits of bread. She smiled when she saw me, like she was expecting me, and asked if I wouldn't sit down and talk to her. She seemed nice enough, so I settled, still a bit uneasily, on the bench beside her. "My name is Miss Gracie," she said, smiling at me as she handed me some bread. I obediently took it and began breaking it up and tossing it to the many birds, mostly pigeons, that had gatheredat our feet. "I'm Duo," I replied, and gave her a small smile back. I couldn't help it. Something about Miss Gracie was just…likeable. She seemed so wise, so very comfortable in her own skin. "What's on your mind, Duo?" she asked. Miss Gracie never beats around the bush, not even at first meetings. I considered not telling her, or saying it was nothing for her to worry about, but no sooner did my mouth open than the wrong words came out. "I was asked out by my best friend, or I think I was, anyway." She nodded. "So what's the problem? Afraid of ruining the friendship? Not attracted?" "A little, and I've never really thought about it before. I couldn't ask for a better friend, and I know he really cares about me, but…" I didn't know what I was trying to convey. "Does the fact that you are both male have anything to do with it?" Miss Gracie asked shrewdly. I shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I don't think so. I've never had a problem with men dating other men…Hell, I helped set two of my friends up on a date. It's just that, Heero has changed so much since I saw him last, and I'm just getting to know this new person." "What's the last nice thing he did for you?" Miss Gracie asked. Confused by the question, I said, "He bought my favorite kind of ice cream. I didn't even know he knew I was out." "And what's the last nice thing you did for him?" she pressed. I decided dinner didn't count and said, "I searched through the apartment with a fine-toothed comb until I found some software that he was looking for. It was no big deal." "Just as he would say that noticing you were out of ice cream and getting more was no big deal?" she suggested. "It's none of my business, of course, but I think you should go. You've got nothing to lose but your heart." |
